Something that I’ve been learning (of course, always the hard way) is that there are some truths out there in life. Some of the truths are amazing and wonderful and sunny. Some of the truths are hard and difficult. Both are necessary– I always find that the hard truths make the great truths that much greater!
I would imagine that there are countless truths out there if you went to add everyone’s up… but everyone values different truths in different ways. For me, most of my truths have come out based on life experiences I’ve had, my insecurities, and (especially) when I’ve been hurt!
One thing to note, especially for the hard truths, is that sometimes you have to learn and relearn them. I think they get easier to spot and easier to handle with every passing experience, but it doesn’t totally negate the fact that they still can hurt. They’re hard truths after all! And the good truths too, you might forget them and be pleasantly surprised when you rediscover one.
There are friends, there are good friends, and there are great friends | I’ve actually had to learn how to be a friend myself as I’ve grown up. I’ve always had friends, but I kept my cards extremely close to my chest. In high school, but especially college, I learned to open myself up more even if it increased the risk of getting hurt. The risk of getting hurt– and even the getting hurt part– makes the amazing relationships you do have so, so, so worth it.
Despite my late-bloomer start to true friendships, I love making friends now. One of the truths that I’ve learned is that everyone can be friend… but there is a difference between a great friend, a good friend, and just a friend. (And the same goes for yourself!) Given the nature of what a great friend is, it would be absolutely impossible to be a great friend to everyone. (And that’s okay!) The hard truth part comes into play when you find out someone you thought was a great friend might just be a good friend… or a good friend might just be a friend. But don’t lose sight of the fact that you still have a friendship! Priorities and situations and circumstances might have just gotten in the way. When a great friendship is really great, nothing gets in the way… which is the beauty of having only a handful of great friendships. (Most of my great friends live far away!)
There is no such thing as a secret | Nothing is a secret. Whether it’s a whispered piece of information across the lunchroom table in high school or a mistake that was swept under the rug or a recipe for success… there are no secrets. Once I realized this, it’s pretty freeing. First of all, I make better decisions if I have the initial assumption nothing is a secret. It’s kind of a mix between Big Brother and some sort of intense therapy session. That would be the hard truth component.
The good truth? There are no secrets to anything in life. I read a quotation from Sarah Silverman, “If you want to write, write.” Yep. No secret there. There’s no secret to hard work and just sitting down to get something done. Another similar thought: what works for one person may not, and probably will not, work for you… so even if there was a secret, it wouldn’t do you much good!
You can’t please everyone | A great quotation by Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” This is another hard truth that turns into a freeing truth! When you know someone’s going to not like you– or even hate you– for being exactly who you are, then it doesn’t hurt (as much) when you find it out. If you know you’re being true to yourself and you know you’re being your best self, then hello! You’re winning!
Failing isn’t the end of the world | Confession: this is the hardest truth to learn, but the best one in my book. For so long I just assumed the world would end if I failed. Literally. As irrational as it sounds, it’s what I truly believed. My freshman year however, I faced failure in the face. I was failing in every way. I failed my first exam. I failed my health. I failed with friendships and relationships. Report card on life: F. Much to my surprise, the world did not end. In fact, it could really only go up, get better. Which it did.
Five minutes of organizing, a whole day of structure | It’s a combination of the act of cleaning and the end result of having a tinier bit of organization. The trick for me is to set a timer for five minutes and to just have at it. But I have to stop when the five minutes is up as I can go down the rabbit hole and not come out until I’m knee-deep in bleach. I can do a lot in five minutes and I always make sure tidying up my desk is part of it. The rest of the day is amazing!